Compassion As Compass

22 Apr

“Compassion is not a luxury, it’s a necessity” said the Dalai Lama in an interview this week.

There’s no other way than with compassion to parent a child, be a good friend or exist as a successful social creature. Having been hit by a sneaky cold, I had the good fortune to have a good book by my side and was given time to nurse the cold as well.

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg talks about how habit forms all sorts of routines in our personal and professional lives. You may remember it from the news that Target is like many other stores a Big Brother data collector that analyzes our shopping habits to such a degree that if you start buying stuff like loads of vitamins, unscented body lotion and washclothes they can deduce that you’re likely pregnant and even predict with high accuracy your expected delivery date.

Target’s tactics weren’t any real big revelation to me, although I was definitely talking about them at the time too. What did hit me was how Duhigg describes yelling at your kids as a habit. Duhigg only mentions it among a list of other habits that can be changed if you are aware of them and want them too enough, but each time he did, it struck me.

We fall into communication patterns with our children and regardless of if they are successful and satisfying, they can quickly become habit if we aren’t aware of them.

Because of this head cold, the screen is blurry as I type, my nose is stuffed and my temper was short. It is not my usual state of being but cannot be an excuse either. Compassion is not a luxury, it is a necessity. It was no secret that I am not right now, the playmate  that he’s come to expect.

Sometimes, secrets create a connection between us that is more powerful than if the information had been shared openly. This amazing video is one example.

This blog is an exploration into all the secrets that children share with us everyday, straight from the source.

Today’s secret: My three-year old blessed me with a armload of kisses and then he asks “You feel better already?”

“Of course I do,” I tell him. “How could I not?”

 

 

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